Sunday, 29 May 2011

is there hope?

being mad is normal..for me at least... i don't mind being scolded for my wrong actions, but do it with courtesy and maturity...i don't like being treated like a child when i'm wrong, i don't like being interrogated by you...say it nicely and i'll straight away admit my faults.. if you do it the other way round, i'll shout back at you without have known me for years, you should be able to understand me...changing is a process, i can't do it in one night..i'm trying, but still in progress..don't expect me to change drastically...when you asked me whether i'm going to talk back at you when we're married, i was stunned...stunned because i don't really know how sincere you are in marrying me..when, is another question..our relationship now is more or less like a comfortable one..but it does not extend its way to didn't propose, you didn't tell it to your parents, you leave it vague, ambiguous, unheard of...we don't have plans for the future..that is what i think of our relationship...unless you make it legal and serious, i'll accept it with an open heart...for now, its just having fun with what we have in our relationship...our status remains 'boyfriend girlfriend' not 'engaged' or far from it 'married'...i'm tired waiting for you to make a move, tired of being treated like a wife while i'm not..tired of everything that you make me believe...tired of being asked about our relationship, tired of being chased around with the torment of being in love with you...for now, i'll live my life my way, you live recent feedback from my mom was "xtau bile nye ko nk kawin, sio xpyh la angkat almari ko ke bwh dulu, later pon bole"...the fact that my little sister is already thinking about marriage and maybe going to have hers first before me didn't bother you at all...i'm bothered with that fact and you have done nothing to make it the other way round...its sad to have a relationship like this...i have no more to say...i am really sad and my heart ache...i really want a husband who can be firm with his decision...if you can't, just let me know...if you have doubt in marrying me, being in control, just spill it out...i'm all ears now...


  1. Salam,

    I'm going through the exact same situation. Don't have an answer for it any more than you do, but it comforted me to know that I'm not alone and I hope it comforts you too. It's hard to leave something that you've shared with someone else for so long, but if it doesn't make you happy in the long run...well, still trying to figure that out myself. Good luck.

  2. salam
    thank you for your comment..i'll try figuring that out in time...if you don't mind me asking, do i know you? if you have a blog that i can be a follower, please let me know ya...and thank you again for you support and advice...